How to Talk to Your Kids about Addiction in the Family

Talking about addiction with your kids can feel like an overwhelming and difficult conversation to have. Whether you’re the parent struggling with addiction, or you’re trying to explain a loved one’s addiction, the best way to start the conversation is with honesty and understanding.

Kids can sense when something is wrong, and avoiding the conversation may lead to confusion or a sense of isolation. However, talking openly can help your children process what’s happening, lower feelings of shame and help your child develop healthy coping skills. 

How Addiction Can Affect Children

Addiction affects the entire family, causing financial, relationship and emotional wreckage. For children, having a caregiver or close loved one suffering from addiction can affect their entire selves and have lasting impacts that can follow them into adulthood. 

The Emotional Impact of Addiction on Children

Children living with an addicted parent often suffer from increased anxiety and depression. Children may live in a constant state of fear, unsure of what to expect from day to day. They might fear the addicted parent’s behaviour, worry about their own safety or fear that something bad might happen to their loved one.

The instability caused by addiction can also lead to feelings of hopelessness and isolation. Children may also internalize their feelings and believe they’re responsible for the addiction or the problems in the home.

The Behavioural Impact of Addiction on Children

In response to the stress and confusion caused by addiction, children may become more aggressive, have temper tantrums, act out or disengage from school. 

The trauma and long-term mental health effects children experience from living with an addicted parent can stay with them through their entire lives. Into adulthood, they can suffer from PTSD, have a higher risk of developing an addiction and have difficulty with authority and relationships.

Starting A Conversation about Addiction with Your Children

Having a caregiver, or close loved one suffering from addiction, affects kids of all ages. Ignoring it or attempting to shield it from them doesn’t protect them from the pain that the addiction causes.

Whether you’re a parent or close family member, having an age-appropriate conversation can help create open and honest lines of communication and help them understand that what’s happening isn’t their fault.

Tips For Having A Conversation About Addiction

Having a conversation about addiction with your seven-year-old, will look different than with your 17-year-old. At any age, you can incorporate the following tips into your conversations:

• Be honest and reassuring
• Normalize their feelings and emotions
• Use clear and simple language
• Provide a sense of stability and support

The National Association for Children of Addiction lists 7 things that adults can teach children to help them cope with addiction in the family:

I didn’t CAUSE it,
I can’t CONTROL it
I can’t CURE it, BUT
I can take CARE of myself
by COMMUNICATING my feelings
making good CHOICES and
CELEBRATING myself.

Model Healthy Coping Strategies

Children learn by example. While dealing with addiction in the family can be emotionally taxing, showing your kids healthy coping mechanisms will teach them how to manage their own feelings.

Encourage them to express feelings in healthy ways, whether it’s through talking, art, journaling, getting exercise or a hobby.

Other Resources to Support Your Child

Supporting your child doesn’t only have to be through conversation, there are many resources you can pull from to support their healing. Here are some resources you may consider:

• Individual therapy 
• Alanon or “Alateen” groups (Alateen is a peer support group for teens who are struggling with the effects of someone else’s problem drinking.)
• TV shows (Sesame Street among others, has great videos and resources for understanding and coping with parental addiction.)
• Books

Newgate 180’s Family Program can also equip you with the tools and resources to have these difficult conversations, while also getting your loved one help. 

Creating A Safe Space For Your Children

Talking to your kids about addiction in the family isn’t easy, but it’s an important conversation to have. You don’t have to do it alone, reach out to professionals, support groups and other resources to help your family.

Remember, there is no “right way” to have these conversations and it’s okay to not have the all the answers. The most important thing to remember is to listen, be present and create a safe space for your children to talk and express what they’re going through. 

For more resources, and help for your loved one struggling with addiction, contact us today.